Pacts with Yourself

Have you ever tried to make a pact with yourself? Journals? Diaries? Lists? Sticky notes? I do it all of the time. Long story short, apparently I can’t really be trusted, but I have spent an awfully long time living my life for everyone but me, and now it’s time to flip the switch.

My hope for you is that you’ll find some connection in my goals and your own and that you’ll take the time to make your own come true.

1. Write more.

I have loved writing since I was about ten years old. When I was young, my stories were very realistic. They often involved little kids who wanted nothing more than to own a puppy (or two or ten). As I got older, I started to write more creatively. I dabbled in personal essays, but I was much to inhibited to let my true self come through. A series of creative writing courses and college classes in English and the arts led me to develop my interests. I even won a contest or two, but then life got in the way. I was much too busy and far too tired to spend any significant amount of time writing.

No more of that. I once read an article that when you were wondering what you should do with your time, you should go back to the things that you enjoyed as a child. Not only would they relax you and relieve you of stress, but they would also inspire you and help you to hone your interests into their truest, simplest form.

2. Read more.

There was a time when I could never be caught without a book. My biggest fear was being trapped somewhere without either a) a book or b) a way to read it.

Reading exercised my brain. It challenged my mind and sparked my creativity. And then I stopped.

I was always “too busy” or “too tired.” Come to find out, just because you’re busy and tired, that doesn’t mean that your quest for knowledge or thirst for words has died.

Whatever it was that you did when you were doing things for “you,” get back to them. Play the piano, write a song, go for walks, read a book, pick up the knitting needles. You should never be too anything for you.

3. Follow Brittany.

There was a time in my life where I was a serious workaholic. The worst part of the affliction wasn’t even the fact that I was working an absurd amount of hours, or that I was sleeping a fraction of the hours hat I should have been, it’s that what I was doing simply wasn’t me. It wasn’t inspiring, it wasn’t challenging (at least not in a good way) and it took me way from the one thing that I needed most: me. The time that I put in giving Mrs. Doubtfire a serious run for her (?) money did little more than rob me of my identity. I did things because I felt like I should, not because I wanted to. I worked 40 hours a week, because it seemed like the thing to do when you were working your way through college. I went to the top-notch college that I had gotten into because I felt like I should. I pursued my more scientific goals because it seemed more likely to get me the best outcomes.

If I could go back in time, there are very few things that I would change. Everything that I have done has led me one step closer to where I am today, but that’s still not quite where I want to be. The other day I decided something: it’s time to be Brittany. I’ve spent years attempting to suppress the whimsy side. The creative, butterfly-chasing, painting-making, story-writing, makeup-doing side of Brittany.

I can tell you one thing for sure: I have worked enough, and held enough “well-it’s-good-enough-for-now”-paying jobs to know that the only thing that’s worth giving your all to, is the thing that makes you the happiest. And even when you find other things, don’t let those first ones go. I’ve always heard “follow your heart and the money will follow.” It’s time to take one big, fat, honking leap of faith.

So in other words, do what you love, love what you do, and simply be you. The fancy little lovely you that only YOU know how to be.

xoxo

Bee