Posted on April 20, 2015
Just Do You.
Tonight, I had an unexpectedly inspiring conversation with an old high school classmate, Maureen. (I am hoping to have her featured in a post at some point as she is helping me to re-design the look of Beeing Fancy!)
She has carved out a niche for herself in the creative world as she pursues her dreams. I, on the other hand, have allowed my passions and interests to take a back burner to my more traditional career pursuits.
In our talk tonight, she directed me to this little gem on YouTube:
When I was a little girl, I spent my time creating. When I was home in the summers, I made zillions of creations with clay. I drew, I crafted, I painted, I made outfits for my dolls, I styled their “houses.” When I was in high school, I pursued my interests in writing; I wrote poetry and stories (some of which were even featured in small publications), I took art classes and photography classes and loved each and every one of them; but I also spent a great deal of time studying for Advanced Placement European History, or working through lunches to force pre-calc equations into my already exploding brain space.
Long story short, I allowed my truest interests to take a back burner to what I felt I “should” be doing: studying, math-ing, working my arse off, etc. In time, I lost my focus and fell deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole of “shoulds” and “norms” and further away from Me.
The fact of the matter is that nothing is easy: believe you me, when you’re working at any job, you will be met with challenges. Creative pursuits have an additional caveat: talent takes time to develop. Just like the seven-year-old Brittany who had brilliant plans for creating large-scale theatrical props, but lacked the supplies, grasp of compositional concepts, and general know-how, the end products of a creative mind rarely match the ideas we have in our heads, and when they don’t, we feel like failures.
The moral of my story is simple: no effort, particularly towards creative pursuits, is a failed effort. Every thing that you concoct, create, transform or beautify is a work of art. It is unique and you and uniquely you and that is an amazing thing.
We as people are far more likely to cut some slack for someone climbing a corporate ladder than we are the aspiring creator who falls. The corporate ladder is something that we understand a little bit better. For the most part, it is quantifiable and understandable. Styling, crafting, creating and imagining are more abstract.
For some of you, the more “traditional” course of action may be what’s right for you; maybe you want to be a lawyer, a doctor, an engineer, a pilot— those trajectories are well-known and relatively clear. For the rest of you, my aspiring Coco Chanels, my actors and actresses, my writers, my set-stylers, my designers: don’t give up. Never trade in you for the “shoulds.” And no matter who you are, whether you’re the designer or the engineer, just do one thing. The one thing that you do best: you.
Just. Do. You.
xoxo
Bee
Posted on April 19, 2015
Beauty Favoritas
Is favoritas a word? In any language?
Before I get to the meat of today’s post, I want to throw a general disclaimer out there. Until I get my hands on a decent camera, I am going to refrain from uploading the yellowed, slightly grainy smartphone pics and stick to using images from the interwebs (that I will be sure to link, ‘cuz that’s the right thing to do!). Obviously, if it’s a personal interest story featuring yours truly or anyone in MY life, there won’t be stock photos available, but you get the idea. If it is a post like today’s that is just filled with favorites and random products, I will leave that up to another resource.
Mmmmk. Let’s get down to business!
1. Laser hair removal:
Okay, my pretties, this one isn’t hot. It isn’t makeup, it isn’t sexy and cool and colorful and eye-liner-y, BUT it has changed my life. End of story. Let me be blunt with you, I was a waxing salon FREQUENTER prior to my discovery of the almighty laser, but even the wax didn’t really touch the issue. It would look good (sometimes not even that) for maybe a couple of days, but before I knew it, I’d be right back where I started. If not even WORSE because it made the hair grow back even coarser. It was actually my favorite esthetician at the salon that recommended I check out the new laser spa in town. I went in (nervously, as I had read previously that lasers can be tricky to manipulate for olive-toned skin) for a consultation and we talked all about my skin, my habits (smoking, tanning, self-tanning, waxing etc.) and she assured me that I was a good candidate for the laser. I put down my deposit and the rest was history. That was nearly two years ago, and while I still am not COMPLETELY hair-free (certain areas are MUCH easier than others to clear up just based on outside factors. My facial hair was a combination of hormones, family history, my skin tone and also just the fact that I have stupid stubborn hair and my body does not know what “peach fuzz” is), it is VASTLY improved. Previously, I hid from florescent lights (that made office life pretty uncomfortable), practically grew a five o’clock shadow, and could NEVER go even a single day without some form of hair-removal. The laser has changed ALL of that. It’s pricey and definitely a commitment (my treatments are supposed to be four weeks apart, but that became very difficult when work got crazy), but if unwanted hair affects everything from your daily routine to your confidence and sense of self (as it did with me. And yes, I know that SOUNDS dramatic, but don’t judge), I can’t recommend it enough. Fancy Tip: Look out for new customer deals as laser spas are popping up left and right. While Groupon & LivingSocial can be great tools to locate these places, I HIGHLY suggest that you listen to referrals and reviews because this is definitely NOT something to skimp on. Lasers can burn ya’ bad if it’s not done by a qualified pro.
2. Estée Lauder Double Wear Foundation:
(source)
Guys, this foundation is a-m-a-z-i-n-g. That’s right, I spelled it out for you because THAT’S how amazing it is. I recommend this in particular if you’re on the oilier side, like myself. Before I found this little gem (ironically, at the makeup counter that my mother has been patronizing since I was a little girl….), every liquid foundation that I would apply to my skin would slide down by 11:00 in the morning. It transferred onto EVERYTHING that even breezed past me and left my skin looking blotchy and sallow. And then this miracle entered my life and everything was different. It glides on SO smoothly, stays on all day long and looks SO natural. It’s medium-coverage, but can definitely be built up to full, but even at that, it is so impossibly real-looking and breathable. It is the PERFECT formulation for spring, and I am really hoping that it’ll feel just as lovely in the summer. (Seriously, I love the idea of a “light, summery foundation,” but sadly, red spots and acne scars are not seasonal. Juuuuuuust saying.
3. Loreal Voluminous: Carbon Black Mascara:
Photo source. I have never found a mascara that I bother to re-buy. It’s one tube and on to the next. This one, however, has caught my attention for a few cycles now. I love that it’s waterproof, VERY black, non-crumbly and very defining. The shape of the wand makes it easy to use and a little goes a long way. Best of all, it’s about $5 at drugstores/ Target. (I will never understand $30 mascaras. I just don’t get it.)
4. Seche Vite Top Coat:
Photo source. I have a nail polish problem. My collection could give any nail salon a run for its money, but I’m darn proud of it. This discovery that I have been obsessed with since college, has become a life staple for me. There are two MAJOR perks to this top coat (and trust me, I have tried them all.) The first bonus is that it makes just about any nail polish on the face of the earth look gel-like. It leaves nails impossibly shiny and glass-like. I can’t even recall how many times I’ve gotten the “is that gel?” question when it’s actually a $2 color + my Seche Vite. Secondly, as if making cheap-o polish look profesh isn’t quite enough, it also dries your nails (layers of color down) in seconds. By the time you’re done with both hands, you could take a shower, blow your nose, pull cards from your wallet, put a jacket on, do all of the things that you’re afraid to do for HOURS after a traditional manicure. My ONLY complaint about this item is that by the end(ish) of the bottle (I’d say when you get down to the last 1/3-1/4 of it), things get a little gunky. It’s thicker and difficult to brush on your nails. I’ve also noticed that once you get to that point, you’ll probably get some air bubbles. BUT, that is a small con and I continue to return to the Vite again and again.
5. Deva Curl:
Photo source. Alright, if you’ve read any Fancy posts other than this one, you will know that I have ridiculously curly hair. I fought with it for YEARS with hot tools, alcohol-laden products and damaging combs and brushes. And then I read a book (this one right here) and learned more about what, exactly, my thirsty curls were crying for. (Interestingly, the woman who edited this book developed Deva Curl, but I came to the Deva Curl conclusion before I realized that!) Anyway, I tried the conditioner “One Condition” and the “Styling Cream” and the two of those products work like a dream together. It did take a little while for my hair to adapt and to suck in all of its glory, but now these two products are on my must-have list.
6. Mario Badescu Enzyme Cleansing Gel:
Photo source. I have tried many, many face cleansers on my oily, blemish-prone skin. Skincare items were actually the first things that I purchased from Sephora when the store first came to town back in the day! Anyway, last year, I discovered the Mario Badescu line at Ulta and I have really liked it ever since. It’s gentle and cleansing and refreshing! I haven’t had any issues with breakouts since I started with this routine (even when my hormones get all out of whack!). It has really done wonders for the texture of my skin and isn’t drying at all. I’m not quite sure what the magical cleansing enzymes in this product are, but they are exactly that: magical!
7. Maybelline Color Sensational Lipcolor:
Photo source. I absolutely LOVE these lipsticks. I’ve tried many different lipcolor brands, but of even the priciest, these remain my faves. Maybelline has several different waves of these released several different waves of these lipsticks, matte, high gloss, reds, purples, neutrals, and I love them all! The formulation is silky and smooth (smells delightful!) and is very color-rich. They’re not SUPER long-lasting, but at just over $5 a pop, I’m okay with that.
Well that just about wraps up tonight’s favorites, but let me know if you’d like to see more posts like this! (Or similar posts that are focused on one like: skincare, haircare, etc.)!
Peace out for now, home fries!
Updated on April 22, 2015
Your First Apartment
Hey friends! First, can I get one thing out of my system? IWANTADOGIWANTADOGIWANTADOGIWANTADOG.
IWANTADOGOHMYGAWDIWANTADOG.
I am dog-sitting a friend’s black lab and other than my poochie pie that lives with my mom (she’ll be featured, don’t you worry your pretty little heads), this girl is the sweetest canine I have ever met. She is a big fan of licking my elbows and playing with her toys and I may just have to steal her. I am SO not used to having a large dog around, it’s almost like having a person in the house! (I have taken to waving at her and giving her hugs. This is a sad state of affairs, my friends.)
Anyway. Now that I got that off my chest… let’s chat apartment.
OMGOMGOMGOMG SHE’S STARING AT ME FROM A LEATHER ARM CHAIR IN THE CORNER. I CANNOT HANDLE THIS.
Ehem. I’m really done now. I promise. Aren’t you guys excited for when I procure my DSLR camera and can bombard you with (super high quality!) shots to accompany my emotional outbursts??
Okay. Back to bid’nass.
Choosing your first apartment can be tricky. Even if it’s just you! If you’re factoring in a roommate (which could be an entirely separate post of its own merits!), factoring in a sig-oth (I “promise” I’ll “never” use that term again), or trying to bring pets with you, things only get more complicated.
Throughout college, I had several different living arrangements. I struggled through the rite-of-passage freshman year roommate (my first roommate’s first “boyfriend” stole my phone charger and a pink highlighter. I will never understand the second part of that). Next, I had a small suite at the edge of campus with two girls that I wasn’t particularly close with at the time (in a way, I think that arrangement can be good, but in this case, I also didn’t entirely trust them either!). I muddled through having the tiny closet room (seriously, it was meant to be a closet for off-campus housing at one point. The roommates insisted that they “left it up to the housing office,” but I’m no dummy. I was just happy to have my own space). My final year on campus was probably the best one; at that time, I lived with five other people- four girls and one boy. Two of the girls are still my best friends to this day, the boy has dropped off the face of the earth (he insisted that the suite always “smelled like girl”), and the other two I still keep in-touch with, albeit intermittently at best.
Regardless of your situation— roommate, boyfriend, girlfriend, dogfriend, I have some tips that combine the best bits of my “if I knew then…” and my things that I knew for myself from the get-go.
Ready…set…let’s talk apartments!
Roommates: So let’s chat just briefly about this one first. Briefly. Because I won’t bother lamenting that pink highlighter that just didn’t stand a chance. Think about this one carefully, yes, living with your best friend can be AMAZING. I said it myself in my “moving in” post, even in the case of moving in with my then boyfriend, I knew that we were entering into a a “trial-by-fire” situation. We were both used to living alone and while you might think that playing Jenga with your dirty plates is a hoot, there’s a VERY good chance that your potential roommate will not. If you are the type who needs a lot of alone time, who has their own specific routines, who has a bizarre work/sleep/ life schedule, who is especially neat/messy/disorganized/noisy/sleepy/hungry/private (the list could go on and on and on), these are important things to consider! In some cases, buddying up could bring out the best in you (playing Jenga with your dishes isn’t a good idea. It’s gross. Just trust me on this one). Maybe forcing yourself to be accountable to someone else might help you to hone your grown-up living skills that you’re trying to put into action. Basically the gist of the roommate debacle comes down to one thing…know yourself before you join a buddy.
Complex or Unit?: An important, directly related question that might make this choice even easier is: landlord or property manager? My first apartment was a one-bedroom within a historic row house. For all intents and purposes, it was amazing. That apartment had a TON of character: cathedral ceilings, funky architecture, a bathroom that was fourteen times bigger than the kitchen. …wait a minute?! There were definitely perks, but this apartment was also: old, kept up by a landlord (he owned the house, lived upstairs and wasn’t particularly attentive. At one point, my back door was nearly broken into and it took a solid two weeks of haranguing for him to secure it. I kept the couch pulled up in front of it and booby-trapped the heck out of that place until he finally took me seriously. Building managers don’t have the “luxury” of or flexibility to ignore tenants. When something breaks, or goes wrong, they are (generally) on the mission QUICKLY. Their butts are on the line with their managers, with the insurance companies, with future tenants, with current tenants… the list goes on and on. My apartment with Bryan is operated by a decently attentive, organized, responsive, and reasonably flexible property manager. Although half of the time, they DO the breaking, they’re also quick to fix it. In my experience, when it comes to complexes, property-maintenance is of top priority which makes things nicer for everyone. Except for when the maintenance crew starts sawing bricks at 7:45 am on your first day off in 16 days, but that only happens every once in a while. Usually.
Unit Pros & Cons: (we’re talking a small unit within a house, typically in smaller towns, not cities and generally advertised through classifieds and/or websites such as Craigslist.
- Often have more character and “charm”
- With character and charm comes age. With age comes upkeep.
- Rules and regulations can be foggy. (Example: checking for “general cleanliness” upon move-out turned into a battle over whether or not the baseboards had been dusted and bleached. True life.)
- Can be more flexible (like with pets)
- Utilities are rarely included (at one point, I was paying over $200/mo. for the gas & electric in a ONE. BEDROOM. apartment that was 75% hallway/bathroom.
- Parking.
- Parking. Parking. PARKING. I paid SO many dollars to the town comptroller. You RARELY have access to a garage, individual parking spot, or even off-street parking.
Complex Pros/ Cons:
- Usually run by property managers who tend to be MUCH more attentive.
- Can feel a little less home-like
- Parking can be MUCH better
- Prices are generally more standardized (my utilities dropped from over $200 to right around $40 per month)
- Grounds are usually kept in tip-top shape
- Quick response to broken/ rundown/ sub-par features
- Can be a little….boring. (But only if you’re me and would rather live in a poorly ventilated, historic building that was IMPOSSIBLE to regulate temperature-wise)
Pets?: If you’re out on your own for the fist time, having a furry (or scaly, or hairless) friend to come home to can feel like a really great idea, but I can’t encourage you ENOUGH to wait this one out. See what it’s like to keep up with a place and how an animal friend would fit into your new independent lifestyle.
Furnishing: This one hit me HARD. When I first set a move-in date, I wanted everything to be perfect. I wanted the perfect toaster, the perfect decor, the perfect everything. That got expensive FAST. I can’t encourage you enough to utilize friends and family (that’s how I got my couch, bed, TV AND plenty of my decor) and to be creative in decorating. I had a friend who instituted “Project Free Art” prior to moving into her first apartment. She found all sorts of awesome things at garage sales, made her own decorations (thank you, Pinterest! We love you!) and even made some craft projects with yours truly! You can still make your new pad homey even if you’re pinching pennies!
So, when it all boils down to it, getting your first apartment can be one of the most exciting, liberating, terrifying experiences of your 20s. (Or teens/30s/whatever!) With a little bit of planning and reflection, you can make the transition as seamless, exciting and energizing as possible!
Peace out, homies! ‘Til tomorrow!
xoxo
Bee
Posted on April 14, 2015
The Curly Hair Club
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Brittany who spent a lot of time fighting with her hair. She straightened it, permed it, curled it, cut it, razored it, highlighted it, blow dried it, wrapped it, rag-curled it, sponge curled it, gelled it, oiled it, curling ironed it, grew it out, chopped it all off, drank cod liver oil in the name of it. Nothing was ever quite right.
And then she tried something brand new: She accepted it. Come to find out, that worked juuuuuuust fine.
So how do you know if you’re in the same Curly Hair Club? I’ve got twenty suggestions to help you decide:
1. Your bobby pins have a one-‘do shelf life. The little bits of magic that you once thought were indestructible stretch out beyond repair after a just one day of wear.
2. You have broken more combs than you could ever count. (And more often than not, the teeth got lost in your hair…)
3. You’re pretty used to hearing, “…hold still, you’ve got a fuzzy, leaf, pine needle?, bush…. tree?! in your hair.”
4. You are frequently asked “is that natural?” Your initial internal response is always, “why would I ELECT to do this to myself?,” but you can’t help but to feel a little bit proud.
5. You only decide that your hair is the perfect length ten minutes before you are scheduled to get your hair cut. Fight or flight. Fight or flight???
6. When you finally do opt to see a new stylist, you wait with bated breath for the …………razor to come out.
7. And if it does, you leap out of the chair like an ember out of a fire.
8. You’re never quite sure how to answer the “can I borrow your brush?” question because, well, you don’t have one.
9. Some weeks, you have to decide whether to buy groceries or to restock your mane essentials.
10. There is no such thing as a “beach-y wave.” Take me to a beach and I’ll prove it to you. (No really, take me to a beach.)
11. By the time your hair finally settles into the style you intended for it, it’s time for a wash. Which, frankly, you don’t do every day, but never admit to your friends because that’s so #unacceptable.
12. After you shower (and spend hours combing and unknotting), the tub is slipperier than a bowling lane and hairier than the back of a wildebeest.
13. You finally get it. The “look” you’ve been trying to achieve for hours. Or so you thought… and then you see a picture of yourself.
14. You have sacrificed so. many. cotton. shirts. in the name of drying your hair without a terrycloth towel.
15. Blow dryer? I’m sorry, did you mean dignity fryer?????
16. You’ll never understand why delightful scents and functionality are mutually exclusive in the hair product world.
17. The scariest part of spending the night with your special friend is……….the next morning…when he’s trying desperately to determine whether he’s looking at the front or back of your head.
18. You had that middle school phase where you thought that straightening was the way to go, you looked a little bit like a scarecrow/ grease monster, but felt hot-to-trot nevertheless.
19. If you had the super loose, Taylor-Swift-y curls, you had about four celeb styles to go after. If you had the tighter ones, you had…..zero.
20. Even though it’s a love-hate relationship, you’re are a curly girl at heart. If given the chance, you’ll tell anyone that you have a “curly face and a curly personality” and to you, that makes perfect sense.
Where ma’ curly girls at?
Updated on April 12, 2015
Moving in Together… A Story and Some Tips
This can be a touchy subject. Naturally, every single instance is different and you can’t possibly collect enough “evidence” to suggest one way definitively that you should or should not move in with your significant other. (Trust me, if there is a life subject that CAN be researched, I WILL research it. We call that #moderndayproblems. A girlfriend once attempted to block webmd.com from my servers.)
Before moving in with Bryan, I tossed the idea around between the friends that I trusted most. I knew in my heart that the decision was mine (there was a time when I needed reassurance and support for literally every single thing that I did, but once I grew up a little, I realized that before I could take “advice,” I needed to trust myself most of all). For the most part, they were supportive. My friends knew Bryan and knew that he was certainly a keeper. It might be for that very reason that the very few who raised concern raised it– because they had either heard or experienced “horror stories” of boyfriends and girlfriends moving in together and they didn’t want to watch my happiness dissolve because of a rash decision.
I assure you, it was not a rash decision.
Months after having my Monica moment, I think I explained the whole thing pretty well. This might seem a little… negative (?), but basically, I knew that taking the leap to moving in with Bryan was going to be a sink or swim decision. We were either going to love being together 24/7, or we would decide that our lives weren’t quite compatible and we would likely go our separate ways. Well, shock of the century, I was pretty darn sure that it wouldn’t be the latter. (In fact, if there were even a whisper of that sort of doubt in my mind, I don’t think I would have done it.)
So here’s the gist of my story:
+ We moved in “early.” It was less than one year in and apparently, that’s not super common anymore.
+ Bryan is my best friend and I knew that we’d be just fine. We would figure it out together and I was confident that we could do that amiably.
+Both of our families were totally onboard. (I know this is a big thing for some people. Fortunately, we were lucky enough to have the blessing of both of our families .)
+We both wanted it. It wasn’t the solution to a problem, it wasn’t to appease, it wasn’t to “play grown up.” We were both in 101%.
So that being said, it was a pretty easy decision for me, but only you will know what’s right for you and YOUR special friend. Below you’ll see my tips/ tricks. I am by no means an expert, but I can tell you for certain that when we do have our disgruntlements (?), it’s never about us co-habitating. It has worked out juuuuuuust fine for us.
So, now for the next part! (Please note: I use “he,” because I, personally moved in with a he. That is all.)
1. Ask yourself, “will he be okay with my obscenely expansive (almost embarrassing) collection of nail polish??”
Okay, this is half joke (seriously, I might have a problem. I could give the OPI headquarters a run for its money), but in all reality, we all have our things. If he collects matchbox cars and has them all over the apartment, will YOU be okay with that? If you like to showcase your twelve zillion nail polishes, is he going to ask you to hide that shit? You want your place to be YOUR place (yes, it will be combined, but you still need to be comfortable! —I, for example, took my display racks down and relegated my nail polish friends to a Sterlite container.) Compromise? Sure. Hide your true self and your interests? Not a chance.
2. Know what you need.
Fortunately, Bryan and I are pretty similar when it comes to the amount of “me” time that we need. I don’t need a ton of time by myself. In fact, I would rather hang out with him any day of the week than be alone. If you’re the kind of person who needs a good chunk of alone time, true alone time even without your SO around, take this into serious consideration. Once you move in together, solitude is a rare-itude.
3. Make time for catching up.
When I was a solo bird, living the lonely life, my friends living across the country basically became my virtual roommates. We would Skype/ FaceTime constantly, watch TV shows together and talk on the phone all of the time. Of course, once I was living with Bryan, that changed. My tip on this one is to make time for catching up with the ones you’re closest to. It’s no fun to find out months after the fact that you’ve dropped off of the face of the earth, and sometimes, when you’re the one living the life that’s changing so quickly, it’s not always easy to see that. Even though it might be tough in the beginning, (especially if you’re like me and move/interview/commute an hour and a half/ get a new job all at roughly the same time because you are INSANE), try to make some time for catching up. It is always time well-spent.
4. Consider: Will he still love me when he sees me like this:
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
I like face masks. Some guys might find this frightening. Fortunately for me, Bryan doesn’t seem to mind.
5. Divvy up the chores!
This, right here, is my newest pride and joy:
Sometimes, when you grow up a little, you realize that asking for help isn’t the end of the world. SOMETIMES.
In my case, I have been known to take on WAY more than I can technically balance. Also weirdly, I love to cook, clean and organize. I find it relaxing and rewarding, BUT, I also work full-time (at a job that isn’t particularly relaxing nor rewarding) and that is impossibly exhausting. When you bite off more than you can chew and are also ridiculously reluctant to ask for help, you are asking for trouble. After talking with Bryan, we came up with this nifty little grown up chore chart to split up tasks and share some of the work! (Side note: I have heard WAY too many people say that apartments are “easy.” “What’s there to ‘take care of’ in an apartment!?” Short answer: a lot. When two people are living together, there are dishes, clothes, sheets, towels, dust and particle-y carpets. That’s all there is to it.) The chart above can easily be adapted to whatever needs to be done in YOUR place. Initial and date as you go and before you know it, bam. Workload = SPLIT!
6. Follow your gut.
So let’s get down to it. We all talk ourselves into and out of things… which direction are you leaning? Are your reasons good? Have you talked about concerns? Do you know who’s going to be doing the grocery shopping? If you’re confident with your choice and can truly follow your heart towards living with your Batman. It just might be time to get your hands on that spare key!
That’s all for now, folkies!
xoxo
Bee!